Rumour has it that David Villa will

be left with the option of taking his pick this week.

In scenes that probably won’t be all that

dissimilar to those in which the Rumour Mill agonised over whether to go for the pork belly with black pudding

or the fillet of roast beef with vegetables for its pub lunch last Sunday, David Villa must choose between

Chelsea and Real Madrid this week.

One can’t help but feel for the in-demand £40m-rated

Valencia striker, as both clubs have their merits, but deep down he must know that whichever one he opts for,

he’s going to spend at least two nights lying awake in his bed, staring at the ceiling and wondering if the

other might have been better. Particularly if he opts to move lock, stock and barrel to, say, Chelsea, only to

see his significant other pick Madrid and then put on a show of having a much more enjoyable time there. And

you can forget about being allowed to sample both, David. Otherwise you’ll get violently stabbed in the hand

with a fork. But on the plus side, at least you have Chelsea’s sporting director Frank Arnesen and his Real

counterpart Jorge Valdano on hand to big up the plus-points of their respective clubs and shouting increasingly

large numbers at you. All the Rumour Mill got was a taciturn Australian waiter who shrugged with indifference

when we asked him to help us with our equally important decision. On the plus side, the tip we didn’t give him

covered the cost of an extra pint.

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